CPR and The Gerontics

I got my CPR certification today! I can officially administer CPR or the Heimlich Maneuver to any adult, child, or infant. I'm totally freaked out now about my future children. The thought of having to give one of my kids CPR or the Heimlich is scary, but it's also nice to have the knowledge. And Steven will be getting his CPR certification soon enough. We'll be just such a set!
Pretty soon I'll be learning how to give an enema and how to change Depends...
It was actually a CPR certification Renewal Course, so I actually had to catch on faster because the other people in the class were RN's or CNA's. But I passed with an 85%--not too bad...
One of the guys in my class (he's going to retire soon...) said that when he's had to do CPR on residents, if their bones are brittle, you could end up breaking the breastbone and/or ribs. Yikes! We got to talking and he said that there are a lot of people who prefer not to be resuscitated. Sad... He also said that sometimes, depending on their health and their quality of life, sometimes you just have to let them go.
Anywho...
Well, let me tell you about The Gerontics. They are my friends who are old enough to be my great grandmothers and grandfathers. They are absolutely off of their rockers and boy does it make work fun when they say random things. They are like a three ring circus on wheel chairs.
One of the oldest, sweetest ladies has taken quite a liking to shaking her pointed finger at me when I walk past (which means she is demanding to hold my hand) while she groans loudly (which means I had better stop). She very slowly putts around in her wheelchair all hours of the day and makes anyone walking by hold her hand.
Another elderly lady who has lost a bit of her faculties (and frequently weeps because she doesn't understand why she isn't home) likes to sit out in the hallway and thank everybody for stopping by to visit her, even though they are just passing by. I stopped to say hello for a few seconds. She smiled and took my hand and patted it. Then she started rubbing my elbow...She then sweetly said, "Sweet Glorious Lord Gracious, thank you for this elbow." It made me stop and think about how clear perspective comes to the most muddled minds (and senile minds, mind you).
Then there is an elderly man that stops me every time I pass by and asks me in a whisper what the quickest route is out of here. Every time. I just laugh and point him towards the direction of his room. Oh dear.
There is another elderly lady that used to be a school teacher. She's absolutely ancient, but she's fabulous. You'll smile and say hi at her, and she'll begin to chuckle and will chuckle until she finally says, "Oh dear" very quietly to herself and she'll look at you and start all over again.
There's an older woman who has 12 different personalities and was pretending to be the rubber duck that she held in her hand last week.
There's a very old woman who reminds me of a queen and acts very regal. She seriously does the hand wave in Princess Diaries. She's a sweetie.
Then we have an older woman who is the poster child for both bold and gumption. She was an ambassador to Nepal for many years. She believes that the RN's and CNA's are stupid--and that there is a conspiracy going on--considering they won't let her go home until she gets up and excercises so she's strong enough--but she thinks that they haven't diagnosed her yet and are holding her there for whatever reason.
Oh, I could go on and on. They are The Gerontics...and they keep it coming! :)